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Monday, July 28, 2008 

Ok back into the bread and butter

Thanks to chipper and jojo for their replies.

I've started playing 50NL again and so far so good.

1189 hands
6.28 hours
+$125.95
10.59 BB/100

We'll see how long before I get bored or so on a downswing and not enjoy it anymore.

For now, onward and upward!

Wednesday, July 23, 2008 

Motivation

My wife is reading a book called "Finding your own North Star" which is about figuring out your passions and true callings in life.

This led me to think about 1) if poker is still a passion and 2) why I play poker.

Is poker still a passion of mine? I play a few times a week still but I am no longer playing the 25+ hours I used to. I no longer have the urge to jump on the tables every chance I get.

I still love the competition and I believe that I can continue to be a winning player. I enjoy winning and seeing my bankroll rise. I hate the losing streaks and having 10 buy ins disappear and have to grind it back. I am at peace with variance now. I know that this is a 2 steps back, 3 steps ahead kind of game in the long run.

I believe that I am intelligent enough to adapt and learn as I go and continue to succeed at higher stakes.

I still sit in the low limits. The only time I put any kind of volume in is when I find things in the reward points stores and grind it out to get them.

I enjoy playing. I really do. I think part of the problem is money. I don't want to lose the bankroll I've built up. I shouldn't care really. If I lost it all tomorrow I wouldn't be any worse off than I am today. Yet losing a hundred dollars in a night really has an effect on me. Losing $6 in a tournament I play poorly does too. I don't like the mood it puts me in.

It is good in a way that poor play irks me. It is what makes me a better player in the long run. Do I have what it takes psychologically to play this game?

If I took all the energy that I used playing poker and applied it to creating a viable business, I might be pretty well off today. But poker is so much more fun. Grinding it out for a few dollars an hour is just losing its luster and getting more and more frustrating.

I have many times told myself to step it up and take bigger shots. Each time I look, I see a $30 or $50 tourney I want to play and then my inner self tells me "you really don't want to lose that much in one shot". So I continue to play low stakes and the highest I have gotten comfortable with is the occassional $11 rebuy and $16 sit and goes. I've done just fine in both and I'm sure I'd do just fine in most other tourneys. I've never felt outclassed in any large tourney I've satellited into.

Now you can ask "why don't you play more satellites?". I play satellites occassionally but again I have it in my head that it doesn't make me any immediate money because I see my bankroll go down without any immediate reward.

My first $11 tourney ever was the chiptalk.net Thursday night weekly one. In my third week I had one my first multi table tournament ever. In the three years I've been playing them I have beaten fields of 25-45 players. I have won 45 man sit and goes. BUT I am still looking for that first big win. Granted I don't have a large amount of volume in big fields, but my best finishes I guess have been 19 out of 1600 in an $11 rebuy and a 2/180 in a sit and go.

I would love to put in volume in big fields but finding the time to play 4+ hours in a shot is difficult and even when I do, sitting for 4+ hours does not always wet my appetite.

So what is the answer for me? I enjoy the 9 and 45 man sit and goes but I feel like they are a grind. I enjoy the big tourneys but I don't seem to have the time. Cash games only seem to motivate me for frequent player points which in and of itself isn't bad. I've jumped around so much I don't know what my best game is anymore.

Back in the day limit holdem was definitely my best game, followed by NL tourneys. Cardrunners improved my NL cash play. I like stud hi/lo but that feels even more like a grind. I'm just not sure what will make me happy anymore. I played 11000 hands of 1/2 limit holdem to get enough FPP on Stars to get an Ipod Touch. I was breakeven for the first 10k and then lost $180 in the last 1000. Variance and losing big hands to suckouts sucks. What will make me happier playing? Play higher cash games and win more money? Play 180 man tourneys until I win one? I need direction and goals.

Maybe I'll just win my next big field tourney and that will answer my question for me :)

What would you do?


  • NL = No Limit Holdem
  • PLO = Pot Limit Omaha
  • CP = Crazy Pineapple
  • TD = Triple Draw
  • UTG = Under the Gun (first to act)
  • MP = Middle Position
  • LP = Late Position
  • CO = CutOff (one before the button)

About me

  • I'm Scottwire
  • From NJ
  • Hi there. I started this blog mainly to keep track of how I'm doing playing poker as well as to vent, share my thoughts and feelings, and allow friends and family to follow along. Thanks to everyone following along whether I know you or not. About me - I am currently a web developer who is trying to become a successful Entrepreneur with my wife. We love to travel and are trying to become successful enough to do that as we please :) That's us in a nutshell.
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